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Sunday, August 5, 2012

Doing other work is not selling out

That title is courtesy of Princess Lasertron, a Nebraskan, crafter and social media maven. I adore her blog, her hard work ethic and the way she uses social media. I look to her for inspiration on all those levels. She works hard, even with a two year old in tow. What a role model.

I haven't publicly written about what has been going on so here goes ... I lost my job a few days before I was returning from maternity leave. I loved that job and gave it 110% but 110% wasn't enough. Not even working my butt off on bed rest was enough. Not even doing work from home after hours was enough. My skills, talent and knowledge of interactive marketing was not enough. I spent 11 weeks dreading going back because I knew no matter how much I gave to it, I wouldn't have the leadership support I needed.

I haven't blogged much because I felt the title of this blog didn't exactly match my current state of mind. Yes, we are still green, buy organic and strive to live the lifestyle but I'm not a working mom. I'm a mom who is conflicted -- start my own business or go work for someone.

I want to work for myself but I'm swimming in doubt. Maybe it's hormones? Maybe it's the fact a big part of my life is now gone. Within an hour of losing my job, I announced on Facebook a project my husband and I had been working on for a while -- Just Get Me Going Interactive Media. It hasn't been a secret that I have helped businesses with their digital marketing needs on the side. I'd spend my lunch breaks at the library, got up early or stayed up late to work on projects. After announcing that endeavor, friends started sending me referrals and I had a few monthly contracts! Yay, I was living the Bend dream -- home with my kids, working for myself and having flexibility!

Through the Oregon Employment Department, I can apply for the Self-Employment Assistance program and get unemployment benefits while working on my own business. I started that process but I applied for health insurance for myself (my kids can be covered under my husband's insurance but it's too expensive to add me) and was denied due to my recent c-section and high blood pressure (which is now lower as it was due to pregnancy). Then the hospital bills from EmmyLu's birth started rolling in. Then it started to get hard to pay the mortgage. At the same time, a few jobs opened up that I would totally love doing so I applied. They would offer me the flexibility to work for someone and also work for my clients.

I was feeling guilty about pursuing both until this blog post from Princess Lasertron.  I had been wishing for a sign or some sort of direction and then she wrote these words "doing other work is not selling out." I'm not selling out ... I'm doing what I have to do to make it. My life isn't just about me anymore. I have a husband, two kids and a mortgage.

I have also thought about spending the time to monitze this blog which means I need to get rolling on the content again.

Thank you, Princess Lasertron for being an inspiration and for not selling out. That sentence was exactly what I needed.

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